5.4.1 Assertive behaviour
Assertiveness is the ability to stand up for your rights without infringing on the rights of others (Kaye 1994). Assertiveness is not aggressiveness. It does not involve winning at all costs: rather it is about acknowledging your rights in a confident and principled manner. Assertive people:
- are not afraid of self-disclosure
- can communicate with people on all levels and their communication is open, direct and appropriate
- take an active orientation to life.
They look for and act on opportunities and act in ways which they respect. They are principled.
Why are people afraid to be assertive? There are several factors that may discourage assertive behaviour. For example:
- assertive behaviour may be unsupported in the prevailing culture
- past learning (for example parents may have discouraged assertive behaviour) or bad past experiences
- a person's personality may prevent them from 'speaking up' or asserting their rights
- a person may be more concerned about how others might react to their assertive behaviour (they may think that others will not like them if they speak out)
- a person may be overly defensive of their own views and fear looking silly if they speak out.
The alternatives to assertive behaviour are submissive behaviour or aggressive behaviour. Both of these alternatives tend to promote self-defeating behaviour and are ineffective communication techniques.
Activity 5j
- Consider the characteristics of the different types of behaviour in Table 5.5.
- What are the disadvantages of aggressive and submissive behaviour?
- Read through Reading 5.3. How would you deal with aggressive behaviour at work?
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