6.5 Conflict between verbal and non-verbal
Non-verbal behaviour can send a message contradicting the verbal message. For example, sarcasm is communicated through the use of a verbal statement and an accompanying non-verbal action, sarcastic tone of voice (paralanguage), that contradicts the literal meaning of the words (Yoder et al. 1996). This is an intentional contradiction. An unintentional contradiction may be when we cross our arms or legs because this is comfortable, however, others read this as defensive behaviour.
Contradictions between the verbal and nonverbal message may create difficulties for the receiver of the message. In situations where the verbal and non-verbal messages seemingly contradict, a paradox is created which Yoder et al. (1996) refer to as the double bind . Both messages are believable, yet both cannot be believed. Think, for example, of a situation where you think someone is deceiving you. The message sounds honest but the non-verbal behaviour looks dishonest. In such cases we tend to believe the non-verbal message as it is often more genuine, less manipulated and more accurate. It is always best to try to clarify the situation by exploring the message further. You may also need to consider cultural differences if it is an intercultural communication context. For example, is a person not looking at you because they are lying or because it is seen as rude to look at people in the eye in their culture?
Dwyer (2005) provides a four-step and a two-step process for checking the meaning of non-verbal behaviour. Try these out when you are next in doubt about a person's non-verbal behaviour. As has been mentioned in other chapters, communication is the mutual responsibility of the sender and the receiver. If either party is confused about the verbal or non-verbal meaning of a message, clarity should be sought.
This chapter has explored the various elements of non-verbal communication. We need to remember that non-verbal communication takes place continuously, makes up the majority of a message and can be an involuntary behaviour. Consequently, we need to be aware of our own non-verbal behaviour and clarify the behaviour of others if we are in doubt.
Summary activities
- Do you consider yourself a competent non-verbal communicator? Why/why not?
- Summarise the observations you made in the first activity 'To start you thinking'.
- Read through Reading 6.1. From your study of this Reading , your text and this chapter, summarise how non-verbal signals can best communicate important messages at work. Give examples.
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