6.3.3 Paralanguage
The difference between how something is said and what is said is called paralanguage. Silence can also be considered as a type of paralanguage: even when we say nothing, we say something. Sigmund Freud said:
He that has eyes to see and ears to hear may convince himself that no mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his finger tips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore.
When there is no response we tend to treat it as a hostile response. However, when silence is followed by a response, we appreciate the fact that people have thought first before communicating. Again, note that cultural differences exist here. Some cultures such as the Japanese advocate silence as a strategy in business negotiations, for example, while others are hard to keep silent!
Activity 6c
Consider the difference a change in tone can make to a single word. Read each of the following statements. Respond to each of the statements only by using the word 'Oh' . Change your response as the context of the statement changes.
- We're having a test tomorrow.
- You just won the lottery.
- I bought a new car.
- You have a stain on your clothes.
- A friend of mine thinks you're really attractive
- Tomorrow is a holiday.
Were your responses accompanied by any other voluntary or involuntary non-verbal behaviour? You might like to check this by going through the statements again in front of a mirror. You will be amazed at how animated the word 'oh' can be.
Back Page